Post 11 - Holiday Blues

This may not be the type of holiday article you're used to reading but I think it's important to recognize and honor all feelings. The truth is that the holiday season often evokes a range of emotions. For some people, it's an opportunity to come together with family and friends, enjoying traditional celebrations and making new memories. However, for others, this time of year can provoke unsettling feelings. Some people find the holidays challenging because they lack the energy and support to help them manage the numerous expectations brought on by the season. For others, the holidays serve as a reminder of lost loved ones and divided families, making it difficult to endure past traditions. Let's face it, the demands of the holiday season, including spending money on dinners and parties, gift-giving, increased social interactions, traveling, and disruptions to daily routines, can feel very overwhelming.

I am a person who enjoys the holidays, but there have been years when I decided to withdraw for the sake of my own mental well-being. During those years when the weight of daily life felt overwhelming, I realized I needed more time to process my emotions instead of using my energy to make others happy by showing up in a way that was not authentic. Sometimes it's okay to acknowledge that life feels difficult, and pretending otherwise is not an option. We all have the blues sometimes and even as joyful as the holidays can be, they can also be very complicated. Especially since everything has such a commercial angle these days, we sometimes lose sight of the simpler meanings. For some that is the birth of Christ. For others it's the spirit of Christmas, which can represent good will and kindness towards others. Regardless of what we believe, it's important to pause, breathe, and make time to recognize, care for, and prioritize yourself.

Our well-being is the foundation of everything. If we aren't feeling together mentally then nothing else will fall into place. This is why the peace that comes from being truthful in the moment makes such a huge difference. We must first be honest with ourselves and next we must not be afraid to ask for help if we need it. Taking the time to care for and love yourself can significantly reduce the stress and anxiety associated with the holidays. This looks differently for each individual but for some it could be reading a great novel, taking extra-long bubble baths, listening to soothing or inspiring music, watching an uplifting or funny movie, doing a puzzle, talking to or spending time with trusted loved ones or friends, exercising, eating good comforting food, taking a trip, or just turning off social media for a bit to focus on energizing, creative and fun projects. Whatever "me" time looks like for you. Taking the time to pour into yourself, however short or long you need to, in order to restore and feel stronger, is essential.

It's also important to know that if the blues continue and you start to have trouble functioning in life, there's a way out. This is when it's crucial to speak up, let someone know you're struggling, and ask for assistance. There are so many resources out there, especially post pandemic. Talk to your doctor, friends, loved ones, employee assistance at your job, or anyone that will listen and is willing to help. There are so many options and it's all about finding the one that works best for you. Therapy has been a game changer for me. Finding the right therapist can help you heal past traumas and learn to be the light of your own life. Some people balk at the idea of talking to a therapist but it's such a huge gift to yourself. It's one of the most important investments of time and money that I've ever made in my life. You don't have to go with the first therapist you talk to. It's crucial to find the one that is the best fit for you, the one that creates a safe space where you can say everything that you need to say without feeling judged. That is the key to healing, you have to be able to be honest and let it all out. It takes time, courage, and a commitment to yourself, but I promise you that it can be a beautiful thing. I would not be writing this blog without my current therapist and all the work I've done with her to get to this place.

Finally, I'd just like to remind you that you're worth it. If you've found your way to this article and the topic somehow spoke to you and drew you in, please know that you are worthy of all the things your heart desires. If the holidays are bringing you down or you don't feel like you have the energy to deal this year, give yourself a break. Do something different. Do the things that you need to do in order to feel better. You don't have to go to every party. You don't have to spend time with people who drain you. Make it simple. You get to choose how much or how little you want to engage. Get a small tree if that's what feels good and cook some of your favorite treats or invite the friends over who make you laugh so hard you cry. If you don't have a lot of money but you'd still like to have a gathering, have a holiday breakfast or lunch potluck and exchange stories, instead of gifts, of how you all have touched each other's lives. You might be surprised at what you learn. There are so many different ways and new traditions that can be created if the old isn't doing it for you. Or if a party of one in cozy pajamas is enough, then do that!

As I have said before, we are the architects of our lives. We get to draw the picture of what the holidays look like when we're honoring our feelings and creating healthy boundaries. May the blues of the holidays be short and gift you with the knowledge you need to remove barriers.

Wishing you love, light, and a life filled with Authenticit-E.

Estella