Post 12 - Showing up for Myself

Well, here we are getting ready to close out 2025 and welcome 2026. The biggest lesson I've learned this year is the importance of showing up for myself, and that is the lesson I plan to repeat throughout 2026. I want to continue to prioritize pouring into myself so that I have the energy to show up for others while pursuing and achieving my own goals. How can I be there for others if I cannot first be there for myself? This reminds me of the simple instructions we are given on an airplane. In case of an emergency, we must first secure the oxygen mask on ourselves before securing the masks on our children or those around us who might need help. I've spent a lot of my life wanting to make life easier for others, wanting to save the world without saving myself first. That type of living is a recipe for disaster, and you end up burning yourself out or, worse, making yourself sick. Healing the world begins with healing yourself. It's so much easier to look outside ourselves and point at all the things that we don't have control over. However, the journey to true power lies inside of us. When we're willing to face our own demons and make peace with the enemy within, that is where true healing begins.

I haven't talked a lot about my childhood trauma, but it's something I've been working to heal for some time now. My father was an alcoholic who wreaked havoc in our household when I was growing up. He drank and became belligerent and violent, especially towards my mother. It was like I grew up with two fathers: the sober dad who never missed a day of work and provided for our family, and the drunk dad who stole our peace and caused nothing but disruption and pain. The lessons from my childhood that have haunted me throughout my adult life revolve around feeling safe, seen, and heard. I used to believe my anxiety stemmed from my chaotic childhood, but I've come to realize I likely would have had anxiety regardless. However, because of the chaos and instability I endured as a child, my anxiety has been much harder to navigate, and learning how to function in a healthy way has been a lifelong journey.

We all have stories and challenges that we must overcome in our lives. Some are more intense than others. What I know for sure is that healing comes when we're able to walk through the pain, feel it, face it, and get to the other side. Ignoring pain will not make it go away. Building walls and isolating yourself might feel like a relief, but it's temporary because ignored pain sets up residence inside our bodies. So, for me, when I talk about showing up for myself, I mean taking the time to be in the present and aware of my feelings and my body. First, I must breathe and bring myself into the moment. I check in and ask myself, am I hunching my shoulders up, holding my body too tightly, or not breathing easily? Taking the time to take deep, long breaths makes a huge difference when I'm trying to get grounded. Secondly, once I'm more aware of my body, I check in with my head. Where are my thoughts? Am I obsessively thinking about a past that cannot be changed or a future that I have no control over? This is where focusing on my breathing and dropping into my body helps to bring me into the present moment. The present moment is where peace lives. It is here that I remind myself that I'm not that scared little girl anymore, that as an adult I am safe and I have choices.

Finally, showing up for myself takes awareness and action. If you're showing up for yourself, you can't walk through life like the walking dead. You have to feel things, see things, and acknowledge things. You have to take accountability, which is exercising your right to control the direction of your life. It means feeling, not numbing; it means listening and understanding without being disconnected. It means saying yes to you and sometimes saying no to others. It means stepping into your greatness by believing in yourself and taking consistent actions to achieve the outcomes you want in life. Showing up for yourself means prioritizing your needs by taking your mental and physical health seriously. It means waking up with energy and passion for all the things you want to experience and not bailing on yourself by not even trying. Sure, not every day is perfect, and sometimes you need to stop and rest, but you also need to care enough about yourself and your dreams to show up and work towards executing them. The victory is in the trying. The victory is in the steps that teach you, mold you, and carry you forward. It's in the disappointments and sometimes failures that help to redirect you to a better path. However, we will never discover or learn any of this if we don't take that first step.

Showing up for myself this year has been nothing short of extraordinary. I have learned so much, grown so much, and I feel so much healthier, stronger, committed, and more powerful than ever. Nothing has been perfect, but I've learned that I can handle more than I knew I could, and I've learned that I am so much more capable than I ever imagined. As we close out 2025 and embark upon a new year, I invite you to take a chance on yourself and make showing up for yourself a priority in 2026.

Wishing you love, light, and a life filled with Authenticit-E.

Estella